People often ask me "what is Family Constellations?" When I describe it to them they usually ask another question "…so what does that have to do with me?" The best answer I can give is "probably a great deal!"
As we grow up most of us have primary role models, key figures that look after us through the early stages of life. For most of us this is our parents. Without realising it we copy many of their ways and behaviours and repeat them in our own lives. If these ways are constructive or useful then we don't need to look at them but if those ways are destructive or stop us from having the life we want then they are issues we may want to address. An extreme example is the abused child who grows up to be an abuser, a more everyday example would be a daughter who behaves like a doormat after growing up watching a mother who did the same. There are so many patterns and ways of thinking that we may have unconsciously “taken on”, which we have no awareness of until we want to do things differently in our own lives!
Family Constellations is a form of therapy developed by leading psychotherapist Bert Hellinger. For over 50 years he has worked with families and couples to help them understand and heal issues within their relationships. Psychology research shows that healthy relationships are one of three key ingredients for our internal sense of well-being; and Family Constellations work is ultimately geared toward increasing that sense of well-being.
Do you ever:
find yourself being overly loyal to certain family traditions when really you just want to break free of them?
feel unpleasant emotions around your family life or relationships?
catch yourself being detrimentally loyal to characteristics of your Mother, Father or other role models?
try to be the complete opposite of your parents?
feel confused or stuck in your relationships?
If you have said yes to any of these, Family Constellations work can help you.